Introvert: a quiet, contemplative person who prefers solitude to socializing, who enjoys time spent in thought, who tends to express themselves better after careful consideration, who prefers work in isolation to working in groups. And to think, that half the world’s population is in this category of people. Isn’t it time the Church started to see that some Christians are introverted as well? And that these introverted Christians are going to exhibit introverted characteristics in the ways in which they interact with both believers and non-believers? Particularly in relation to witnessing and sharing the gospel. Particularly in the ways in which they proclaim the truths of their faith. Or as those outside the faith see it, in their proselytizing?
I believe in sharing my story. And my story is one of faith realized, hope found, chains broken. It is a good news story, if there ever was one. And I love to tell my story. I weave it through carefully chosen words in blog posts. I speak it in conversations, in dialogue. I write it down on both virtual and tactile spaces, preserving my story for my children. My children’s children.
My story is of grace and redemption and love. It is the story of Love come to life, through timeless words found in ancient manuscripts. And I believe the truth found therein. Those words have set me free. And I will tell anyone who asks me for a reason for my faith in God, in Jesus and in His Spirit here within my soul. And my belief why these Three matter to the world without. Outside my own personal views and relationship to God. I hold to these Three as the anchor for my existence. And I believe.
Yes, I believe.
But for years, I was paralyzed by fear. I was under the assumption and the erroneous conviction that the only way to share my faith was through vocal proselytizing. And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t share my faith in that way. It felt too phony. It wasn’t me. And so I kept my faith quiet. Just like I was quiet too.
My faith in the God of the Bible was introverted. It was quiet.
And while I appeared to be living my life out loud, pretending as I was that I was a true extrovert, a social butterfly. Inside, I knew the difference. I was an introvert by personality. I was a person who needed to withdraw to replenish. And I beat myself up for not being more extroverted, more forward. And even more so, I persecuted myself for not doing what the Church said was the right thing to do: publicly state my faith in a very forward, almost aggressive way. Boldly proclaiming that I was not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ.
But I was ashamed. I wasn’t comfortable with that approach. And for years, I silenced the words that were my story. And it has only been in recent times that I have found the courage to share, from my introverted place of safety and comfort, behind the screen, the words that say it all.
This is my story. I was lost, but now I’m found. I was sick, but I’ve been healed. I was broken, but now I’m whole. I was dead, but now I am alive.
I am just an ordinary, introverted girl. Afraid to say things out loud at times, but empowered by His Voice spoken through my written word, I am able to boldly go forward. Brave, unafraid.
This is my story, this is my song. And now that I’ve started, I’ll sing of His love. His mercy, compassion and forgiveness. His beauty, his tenderness, his joy. I’ll sing of it.