Reminded today that our children love us as we are: unconditionally, uninhibited, unequivocally.
Children see in us beauty, strength, patience and understanding, things we often do not give ourselves credit for. They make us the hero- champions of all things wise and wonderful: beautiful princesses, brave knights, diverse and varied role models and mythic magicians. We are larger than life. We often sit on pedestals. We occupy seats of honor in their creative minds.
How is it that we underestimate ourselves so and that of the value we are given through a child’s measure of worth? For they hold us in such high esteem in their mind’s eye.
The other day, I talked to a mother. She spoke of being weary of homemaking and the monotony of daily routines inside the house. The laundry piled up in the basement, the dirty floors, the clutter, the flower beds to be weeded. Add to the mountain of household responsibility, the labour of love that is owed a child. The blood, sweat and tears. The agony and the pain. The joy?
Her daughter wrote an essay for school, then came home and told her mother that the topic for such was titled this: “My Hero.” Her mother laughingly said, “Oh, did you write about me?” never supposing this could possibly be the case. After all, this is a working mother with very little time on her hands to spend hours of one-on-one with her child. To be your child’s hero must be conditional on the quantity of time as well as the quality of time, is it not?
Her daughter paused, and then looked at her mother, a surprised expression on her face. “How did you guess?” she asked.
Her mother: her hero.
And as my friend relayed this story to me, we both marvelled that our children could think of us as heros- we who feel pulled in every direction, we who never feel we have given each child enough, we who always have one hundred and one demands pulling at our attention each and every day.
Today, I asked my students if they thought their mommy was a person too. Of course, they laughed! I pushed deeper, does Mommy ever feel tired? Disappointed? Sad? Mad? Frustrated?
I asked the children, when mommies get mad, just like kids often do, what helps mommies to feel better? One little guy pipes up, “My Mommy says ‘let’s make cookies’ and that makes her feel better.” I later relayed this story to the little guy’s mother, emphasizing how sweet his response was in the telling. She said matter-of-factly to me, “I have never, ever baked cookies with him when I’m feeling upset!”
To which I give this response. That is exactly why you are your child’s hero- you are everything they want and you are even more than this. You are enough. They will often overlook all your flaws in the re-telling of your story because they don’t see you as glass half- empty- you are glass half-full! And to be completely truthful, you are more often than not, a cup over-flowing. If they see it, then so should we. We are more than enough for our children. They love us just as we are.
And so should we. Because we are more than enough for our children.
And it is time we started believing such.