There are moments upon moments when I feel pulled in ten different directions and the elastic band that holds my soul, snaps. And when that happens, I just have to laugh at myself. Soul exposed. Transparency at its very best.
I am making beds. At 9:15 p.m., to be precise. What is the point of this, I cannot say. All I know is my children are bouncing off the walls, and I am trying to stretch two foam mattresses over one child’s bed, for whom the springs are poking through and causing her to experience the “Princess and the Pea” phenomenom. While I am bent over the bed, exerting enough energy to push a small bus across a parking lot, my daughter tells me her lips are chapped and would I get her some chap stick. This child has ten different lip glosses beside her bed, and up until last week, had an un-used, fully stocked bag of chap-stick in the same spot, to boot. I finally re-located the untouched, almost-like-new bag of lip conditioners to their final resting place inside the bathroom cupboard. Where, if one looked hard enough, one could easily find it for oneself. Right there. Inside the cupboard. Or rather, one could use strawberry-flavored lip gloss instead. Lip gloss that is easily located beside one’s bed. Pet Peeve #1: How can I say this nicely? Doing anything past 9:15 p.m. that requires physical, mental and emotional energy (a.k.a. not getting my kids to bed on time)
I am in the washroom. I tend NOT to sit on the seat anymore. Too many mishaps and bad experiences. So instead I flutter over top the toilet bowl, like a small hover craft. I also usually scan the premises and do a quick wipe of the toilet seat. Just to be on the safe side. Tonight I forgot to do both. What a lovely feeling to sit down in a puddle. Not. Pet peeve # 2: “People” who sprinkle when they tinkle and forget to be sweetie’s and wipe the seatie’s.
I am just about to leave the house. It is 9:38 p.m. I am beyond tired. My shoes on, I open the door. My husband calls out to me, “Watch out for the skunk that was around the corner of the house. Don’t worry- I think I scared him off, but just in case…” I gingerly walk outside and crawl into the passenger side of the van, with a full cup of tea in one hand and my keys in the other. After completing my school work, driving home and then finally parking the van for the night, I cautiously walk back toward the house. Just as I am coming up the walkway, my husband closes the bathroom window, emitting a screech that nearly causes me to have cardiac arrest. Upon hearing the highly pitched noise, I think that I am hearing a skunk approaching. I make a sudden beeline for the door. Praying, whilst I run like “Bolt” toward the waiting light of the entryway, that all the little skunks have retired for the evening. Pet peeve #3: Skunks, raccoons and myriad other wildlife that occupy our premises after dark.
Pet peeves: What would life be like without them? I’ll never know.
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